Where Were You?

Where were you? I have seen it so many places on the internet today and heard it so many times on tv, watching all the 9/11 tributes.

I had just gotten out of the shower when Hubs came in and told me about the first plane. I didn’t believe him. We went to the tv just in time to see the second plane hit.

Noodle was in kindergarten. I took her to school and walked her up to her line that day. As I was standing there waiting for Mama B to get there with M1, a firery little red headed girl, who never sat still, a Tazmanian devil of sorts if you will, came up to me and grabbed my hand and just stood still for a minute. She said “A plane hit the building” I told her I saw it and that the best thing we could do right then was pray for everyone.  She squeezed my hand and off again she went leaving a trail behind her.

A little girl who’s name was Hope.  Hope is what I think of when I remember that horrible day.  Hope, the little girl. Hope for our great nation. Hope for those who were lost.  Hope for those who were left behind.  Hope  for those who serve. Hope  for their family members who wait at home. Hope for all things still to come. Just HOPE.

Treading Water

For the first time in a long, long time I am finally starting to feel like I am keeping my head above water rather than drowning all the time.

Everytime I have come here to write an entry, it is so down and depressing I can’t hit publish.

I’m not really sure what caused the universe to tilt me back into the real world, but I’m kinda glad that it did.

Not everyday is a good day, but the good days are finally outweighing the bad days and that gives me hope.

Hope that I was sure was lost. Hope that is allowing me to float rather than sink.

Goodbye Gert..

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Had you told me when we first got her that I would become so attached to something that wasn’t warm and fuzzy I would never had believed you.

In December, Myrtle had an unfortunate accident (that is why she is all wrapped up in the green bandage). We all thought she was doing better.

Yesterday, Myrtle went to turtle heaven.

I cried.

Today, I went to the grocery store and the cashier asked me how Myrtle was. (She always has to look up the produce code when I buy cactus pads).

I think I made her cry.

My poor Myrtle Gertrude….

A New Year

I’m not gonna lie, 2010 kicked my sorry ass.

It was the most trying and hardest year of my life.

I am determined to make 2011 a better year.

I need to learn to let things go.

Things that I can’t change. 

Things that in the big picture really don’t matter.

Things that are not important.

Things that have hurt me and only cause me to harbor bitterness and hatred.

In the words of  Zac Brown…..

Spent the night with a friend of mine and a handle of good whiskey
We picked guitars and talked about how the glory days we missed ‘em
And it didn’t take too long to find the truth inside that bottle
Cast a-sea so long ago was a message from my father.

You keep your heart above your head and you eyes wide open
So this world can’t find a way to leave you cold
And know you’re not the only ship out on the ocean
Save your strength for things that you can change
Forgive the ones you can’t
You gotta let ‘em go

Looking back now on my life I can’t say I regret it
And all the places that I ended up not the way Ma woulda had it
But you only get once chance at life to leave your mark upon it
And when a pony he comes riding by you better set your sweet ass on it

You keep your heart above your head and you eyes wide open
So this world can’t find a way to leave you cold
And know you’re not the only ship out on the ocean
Save your strength for things that you can change
Forgive the ones you can’t
You gotta let ‘em go

Like a sweet sunset in Georgia let it go
And like the fear that grabs ahold ya let it go
Let it go
Let it go

You keep your heart above your head and you eyes wide open
So this world can’t find a way to leave you cold
And know you’re not the only ship out on the ocean
Save your strength for things that you can change
Forgive the ones you can’t
You gotta let ‘em go
 
Wishing you all a Happy New Year and the ability to Let It Go.

*Sigh*

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Noodle and her first official boyfriend.

I can’t but help think of him tonight. I imagine there will be many events in Noodle’s future that remind me of my past. Most days when I think of Ryan it still hurts, but for some reason tonight I couldn’t help but think of the fun we had that night that seems so long ago, yet I can still remember it like it was yesterday.

I love her with every ounce of my being and heaven help the boy if he breaks her heart.

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Today we went to a birthday party. And what would a party be without a pink cowboy hat, a bow on your butt and pink boots? 

When I saw her she said “Auntie! I pretty”.  Yes my little love, you are pretty. Happy 2nd Birthday.