Hooked on Phonics Must Not Have Worked For Me

I work less than 5 miles from where I graduated high school. On occasion a random teacher will come into the shop.

Just my luck, one came in today. The one I despise with a passion.  The only one who ever kicked me out of their classroom.

He was a horrible teacher. His idea of teaching was he would read a word then the whole class would repeat after him. (This was 11thgrade History not kindergarten if you were confused). If he didn’t think someone repeated after him the whole class did it again. Well one day he didn’t think I was participating. We must have repeated the f-ing word 20 times.  At first it was funny.  Then not so much. Everyone was tired of “One more time for Mar”.  So was Mar. I couldn’t win. Finally I just took my pen and threw it across the room.  I was out faster than the class could repeat the word “One more time for Mar”. 

I spent the rest of the class in the Principal’s office with all the other juvenile delinquents trying not to laugh every time I admitted my crime.

So anyway, Norbert (his real name, no making this one up!) came in today and the first thing he said was “Oh I see they haven’t fired you yet”.

My reply.. “Much to your dismay, I actually turned out ok”. 

And then I threw a pen at him.

Just kidding about the pen.


Not The Kind On Deadliest Catch

I am not sure how the conversation started it may have been all the alcohol but it was hysterical.

A friend was telling us that her daughter was invited over to play at a friends house.   (They are 9 or 10).

The girl left a message on the answering machine wanting to know if she could come over and play and help her look for her crabs.

(Hermit crabs were a big deal here for awhile.)

So T goes over to R’s to play.  When T gets there R tells her

“My mom said that daddy’s new girlfriend gave her crabs but I can’t find them”.

R thought it was the nicest gesture ever and assumed her mom was talking about hermit crabs not the kind of crabs a daddy get from a girlfriend.

I know, I know… EWWWWW!

I have been avoiding checking the mail all week. Not for what would be there, but because of what wouldn’t.  This year and all the years to come there will be no more birthday cards from Grandma.


She wrote everyone’s birthdays on her calendar that hung by the phone in the kitchen. She always sent them early so that you could enjoy them longer.


Yesterday, when I picked Noodle up from my mom’s imagine my delight when she gave me this :



4th 016    4th 017

Yup. Grandma made it.

Better than any Hallmark . At least in my book.