Oink, Oink.

My family is from Iowa. Do you know what people in Iowa do?  They are farmers.  More specifically – Pig farmers. 

My grandpa used to say pigs were the smell of money.  In our family it was.  

I am here to tell you, pig farrowing houses are remarkably clean. I would be willing to bet cleaner than most people’s houses.

The precautions they take to keep the sows and piglets healthy are mind blowing.

You have a better chance of winning the lottery than contracting the swine flu from an actual pig.

Please remember that pigs are some people’s lively hood. 

 

oink (I don’t know why but this is one of my all time favorite pictures of my girl).

We love pigs!

Serious As a Heart Attack.

Last night was our teams turn to work at the snack bar germ shack at the ball field.

A girl who was on Noodle’s team last year, so she can’t be more that 6 months older or younger than Noodle came up to my window.

I about swallowed my gum when I saw the shirt she was wearing.

It said “I am the bitch that your man keeps calling”.

WTF? 

First of all, why would anyone even THINK of putting that on a shirt?

Second, if you were the moron who did so, why would you make them in a teen size?

Third, why in the world would her mama buy or let her wear such a thing?

I guess we all have different standards.

Helpful Hints

My grandma’s middle name  should have been frugal.  Feel free to use any of the follow tips to help you pinch pennies at your own home.

  • She always saves the rubber band off the newspaper and gives them back to the paper boy when he comes to collect $$.
  • This would be the same newspaper she shares with the neighbor. When she is done reading she just takes it over and slips it into the neighbors mail box.
  • The paper (its about 6 pages) used to have a word search in it everyday. Because they shared, they would cut it out every other day to do it. Of course you never marked the words out, you put a small pencil dot next to the word in the list so someone else could enjoy it as well.
  • She could spot a pop can from a mile away and was never to proud to pull the car over and pick one up.
  • On the rare occasion an overnight stay at a hotel was required she always took the shower caps. Not to use on her hair, but because they made great covers for bowls in the refrigerator.
  • The garbage can is also shared with a neighbor. And if it isn’t full? She calls and tells the city not to pick it up.
  • A piece of Trident or Dentyne gum can be split 3 ways, much  to the dismay of the 3 waiting grandchildren. 
  • If there is water left in a glass, DO NOT dump it out, it can be used to water a plant.
  • Time left on the microwave? Don’t waste it, heat up a cup of water.
  • I think she owns bread bags older than me that she washes out after every use and hangs them on the clothes line to dry so she can use them over (and over and over and over) again.

                      “Use It Up,Use It  Out, Make It Over, Do Without”

One Less Thing For Her Resume

My kid  got kicked out of the school play.

It seems she and M1 were the “lighting crew”.  The pain in the ass theatre teacher expected them to be at school from 6-9 PM every night the week of the play for practice. Mama B and I sent an email telling the teacher  they could only be there for a couple of hours this night and that night because of softball. It seems that they, according to the teachers response to our email, “Will not be able to learn their required duties within the given time parameters”. 

Their required duties?

Wait for it…….

Turning the lights off when the play starts and back on when it is over.

I pay a car payment small fortune every month in tuition, you would think the least they could do would be to teach them to turn a light on and off.

I hope this doesn’t scar her for life.

White Elephant

Who doesn’t love a white elephant exchange? My friend’s parents are invited to several every Christmas season, so I always have my eye open for them, because working in an antique store you really never know what is going to come in the door.

 

When we were at my grandma’s for her funeral, I came across several things that screamed White Elephant to me. The joke got to be that “If you were the last to touch it, you had to take it”.

 

There wasn’t much room to bring stuff home so I crammed every nook and cranny with the jems I found.

 

treasures 002 The first three, I am pretty certain are crafts that someone made at the nursing home she was a volunteer at. (If you think these are eye catching just wait until I find the memory card of the things we didn’t have room to bring home.

 

treasures 003

treasures 005    treasures 006 (Yes, its a fan made out of plastic forks).

 

 

treasures 004 The original 1951 kitchen curtains I found in her dresser drawer.

 

treasures 008

treasures 009 The napkin holder that sat on their kitchen table.

 

treasures 011   treasures 012 One of a million bags she saved…. this one has got be to older than Noodle. Yes, most have yellowed masking tape stuck to them so you know what was in it. This one says zucchini in grandma’s chicken scratch.

 

treasures 013 Making a blog  encore, the fish from the bathroom wall. Don’t want anyone to cry.

 

treasures 014 A macrame owl. I think my mom made it. c.1972.

 

treasures 016   treasures 015 I have no idea.

 

Now though, it seems the joke is on me. I don’t have the heart to part with ANY of these.  What I will ever do with them, I don’t know. Maybe some day the emotional attachment will be gone.  At this point thought, I kinda doubt it.

 

treasures 001 And, as an added bonus for you making it this far… a picture of grandma’s wedding rings.

The Ring

The ring is a circle… an ancient symbol of eternity and completeness, so perfect, with no beginning and no end, for love that is given comes back around again

My grandparents didn’t have much when it came to material objects. What they did have was a lifetime of love. They were married just short of 58 years when my grandpa died. May 25th would have been my grandpa’s birthday and their 72nd anniversary.  Grandpa was always so proud of “the years under his belt”.

When my  grandma died I found her diamond (a gift from Grandpa for their 25th anniversary, there was no money for diamonds when they were married) in her jewelry box. I quickly laid claim to it. There was then great discussion about what to do about her wedding ring. I for one felt that it should stay with grandma. She had worn it a lifetime, it was so thin and almost worn through, worth very little monetarily, but worth everything to her. 

I am not sure how it happened, but when the mortician came to the house to sign some papers he had her wedding band. I was heartbroken for her. 

It was decided that the wedding band should stay with her diamond. I quickly slipped the band on my finger along with the diamond because I just couldn’t stand the thought of it not being worn after all that time. 

Today, one of the last people I would have ever guessed asked me about it.  It was all I could do to get the words out.

I can’t believe that it has been a month that she has been gone. But just like the story of the ring, the love that has been given will come back again.  

Grandma – I miss you so much it hurts and the tears still fall like rain.