Self Portrait Saturday

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Just like I promised.  Because I was up nice and early and had everything else done I decided it was time to clean out the pantry. To most the before pictures probably don’t look too bad. To me ? They were enough to make me want to have a panic attack. I am a bit of a neat freak to say the least. (After the pantry I dusted my plant for 45 minutes. Someone save me!!)

 

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It drives me nuts when they don’t put the stuff right back where they got it from. How hard is it really? 

Not a self portrait, but a little look at “me”.

If you will excuse me, the fridge in the garage is calling my name.

 

But how about a bonus picture because she is so cute. This is Margaret, my baby sister. You can call her Maggie.

 

 

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Are You Kidding Me?

It is Saturday morning at 8:57 and I have already been up for 3 hours. A Saturday in which I did not have to work. A Saturday that I have been looking forward to for about 2 weeks because I knew I would get to sleep in.  Would you like to see the reason I was up at the ass crack of dawn? 

 

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This would be a concrete truck IN our back yard. He was NOT supposed to be IN the backyard but by golly there he was.

 

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This is the reason he should not have been IN the backyard

 

 

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This is what it SHOULD look like (the other corner of the garage)

 

Sat AM misc 072 I guess I didn’t get a great picture of the other side but see how it has a nice round corner? I went out when the truck was leaving and he ran over a bunch of plants in the yard. The driver got out of the truck to get Hubs to sign the receipt and saw me bending over trying to “perk” the plants back up. He said to me “Those are what I was trying to miss when I pulled in”.  I replied without missing a beat “Well I would rather have you run over my plants than hit my house”.

This picture is also for Shanny who wanted  if we didn’t have gutters on our house what we had. It is more of a drain than a gutter I guess.

I will be back later with my self portrait Saturday

The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far From The Tree

Have I ever mentioned how mean and nasty 12 year old girls can be to each other?  Things have finally calmed down but for about 2 or 3 weeks it was touch and go. Lots and lots of she said / she said things. Picking sides. My guess is alot of it has do with those yucky smelly boys that really don’t seem so bad after all anymore. ( I don’t have to worry about boys because Vixen and I have a pact that we are sending Noodle and Bear to the convent together ASAP).

So one little boy who was “on the other side” told his mom that M1 was cussing at school  (I guess boys can play mean too) all the time. I told her there was no way that M1 was smart enough to cuss like a sailor at school and never let it slip at home because M1 and I both know Mama B would be all over that like white on rice.  I relayed the story to Mama B at the ball park and we sat and waited for practice to be over so we could ask them about it.

M1 and Noodle strolled over and immediately gave each other the look (Kinda like oh shit what did we do now?) when Mama B told them she wanted to ask them something.

Mama B – Have you been cussing at school?

M1- Not me!

Noodle – (Slowly starts putting her head down)

Mama B – Soandso said you were

M1 – Well soandso says it too!

Mama B and Mar – Ah Ha! You said too! As in you do it as well.

Noodle – (Not making eye contact and digging in the dirt with her shoe)

Mama B – Noodle? What have you been saying

Noodle – Uh um…..

Mama B – M1? What have you been saying

M1 – (Whistling Dixie, looking around like a lost little girl)

Mama B – Noodle?

Noodle – Well…. We said SHIT!

(We expected them to say quietly whisper the word or maybe say I said the “F” word or the “s” word, but nope, Noodle was loud and proud, loud and proud).

It took both Mama B and I by surprise, we took one look at each other and you guessed it! Burst out laughing.  GrandmaB was standing close by and came over to take charge.

GrandmaB – I can see your mother’s need a little help. Next time you feel the need to say something just say Poop!

(GrandmaB uses a few choice words herself and though it was funny as well, she was just actually grown up about it).

I then told the girls that was there one “Freebie” and if I heard that either one of them were cussing at school again, Mama B and I would each have a brand new cell phone (cause they would get theirs taken away). I am thinking Poop! was sounding better and better to them the longer we stood there.

It has been about two weeks since the incident and I haven’t heard anymore rumblings about the BFF’s and their potty mouths. I really am not stupid enough to think that it isn’t happening at all, they have just gotten smarter about who they may be saying it around.

They are though quick to report on Soandso everytime he drops a bomb. Poor boy is going to learn early not to cross a woman.  Especially either one of those two.

Bueller? Bueller? Anyone? Bueller?

As I mentioned the other day it was cold and rainy here last weekend. Being the stellar mother that I am I still allowed my child to swim not once, not twice, but three times in said weather. Did I make her get out of the pool when she was sitting on the steps with her teeth chattering together and her lips were turning blue?  I sure did, about 20 minutes later when I was ready to go in and hang out with my friends.  I am going to get a big head if I don’t stop talking about what great parenting skills I have.

I mention all of these faults  wonderful things about myself to let you know that I am 100% at fault for the following…. (Her getting sick that is, not for coming up with the idea to give herself a fever)

My poor sweet Noodle started complaining Monday night that she had sore throat. Tuesday morning she woke up and wasn’t really herself but still wanted to go to school. I dropped her off and she ran off to join her friends and seemed fine. About lunch time I sent a text message to her afternoon teacher and asked her to let me know how Noodle was when she got to her class.  About 30 minutes later I got a text from the teacher and she said Noodle was going downhill fast and needed to go home.  I told her I was on my way.  When I got to school I told the secretary (a friend) I was there to get Noodle and she would be going home for the day. 

NOW! This is where I have actually excelled at the parenting gig – Noodle has only missed 3 days of school since Kindergarten (when she was actually sick) and I have never taken her out early, nor has she ever been tardy! School is numero uno in my book and this mama doesn’t mess around when it comes to education.

So friend says to me “The book is behind you”. I had no idea what she was talking about.  Yeah, that would be the book to sign your child out of school when you take them home early. Oops. My bad. So friend called Noodle out of class and I was signing her out when she came into the office. Poor baby was dragging her poor little self like someone who had wondered the dessert for hours with no water. I asked her why she didn’t go to the nurse earlier if she felt so bad. She said she did but  M1 and P were with her and they also “didn’t feel good”, and nurse sent them back to class after taking their temperatures.  Some times it pays to be friends with your kids teachers now doesn’t it?

Anyway, I had to take her to Gma’s house because I had a meeting after work and didn’t have time to go home and get back in time.  Hubs left work as soon as he was able and picked her up and took her home.

On my way home after the meeting I called Mama B and she told me the following story…

M1 and Noodle were in the bathroom and Noodle kept telling M1 she didn’t feel good and wanted to go home.  M1 washed her hands and said something to Noodle about how hot her hands got under the hand dryer. All of a sudden a light bulb came on for one of them (no one has admitted it was their idea yet) and it was decided between the two rocket scientist that they are, if Noodle put her face under the dryer it would make her hot and give her a fever and then she could go home. 

Yes, when she told me I laughed my ass off. I had a hard time keeping a straight face when I asked Noodle about it this morning.  She told me “Mom, I  felt so bad and just wanted to go home”. 

I know she did indeed feel like crap on a cracker because after I dropped her off at Gma’s I called when I got back to work less than 20 minutes later and Noodle was already sleeping on the couch.

My poor girl.

She did make an amazing recovery and is back at school today with just a bit of a runny nose.

I do have to give it to her on this one, I am not sure Ferris could have come up with something like this.

 

My Knight In Shinning Armor

At least in his boxer shorts anyway.  Hubs got up first this morning and when I came down stairs he was sweeping the floor.  The Things were laying out on the patio and the back door was open. I went over to empty the dishwasher and all of a sudden Hubs is shrieking like a little girl telling me there is a bird in the bathroom. WTF?  Next thing I know poor little Birdie is freaking itself out and flying all over the downstairs. Little Birdie (it was just a little sparrow)  flew into the living room and I told Hubs I was going to open the front door. He said “Go ahead”. As he tells me this he is standing on the steps in his boxers, with the broom ready to run up stairs in case the bird comes at him. (Because you know birds can’t fly or anything).  I start towards the living room and he says “Don’t worry it won’t hurt you”.  Then give me your broom Mr. Tough Guy. I didn’t make to the front door and the bird figured out the back door was still open and out he went. 

I really know how to pick um don’t I?

 

Weather by Mar

Today it is was 53* when we left our house this morning. Right now it is pouring rain and about 65*.  People, we live in Phoenix. It should be 100 – 110*  (as it just was Monday) and miserable.  I can not for the life of me ever remember it being cold in May. The end of May at that.

Hubs was supposed to go up north to go riding this weekend. Um, yeah not so much now because it is snowing where he was supposed to end up! We also have two pool parties to attend  because you know it being Phoenix and the end of May, but I can say with 100% certainty I will not so much as stick a big toe into any pool because I know the water will be chilly willy.  Noodle on the other hand will stay in until her lips are blue and her teeth are chattering.

I think I will have to break out a sweatshirt tonight if we go anywhere.  I never would have guessed.

A quick recap. End of May. Phoenix. Cold. Just not right.