Today, I sucked as parent. I took the easy way out. I think I broke my girl’s heart.
Right after I came home from the hospital she brought home a letter from her teacher asking the parents to write a letter to their child that would go into their memory books they have been working on all year. I forgot ALL about it. They were supposed to turn them into today. Last night my friend asked me if I had written my letter. I said “What letter?” And then it dawned on me. I tried to write it last night. But I just couldn’t. I couldn’t find the right words. After several attempts I gave up.
This morning, I wrote her name on an envelope as the teacher requested and I folded up a blank piece of paper so it wouldn’t be empty and gave it to my girl to turn in.
I told her what I did on the way home. Then I burst into tears and cried for the 45 minute ride home. She WILL get a letter, a letter that I will pour my heart and soul into. A letter that will tell her how much we love her and how proud we are of her. A letter that will tell her we will stand beside her no matter what decisions she makes.
Now, if you will excuse me, I need to go and find another envelope……
As some of you know, Noodle attended a new (to her) school this year. What very few know is why we left her old school.
*To say we were involved at her old school would be an understatement*
Last year, almost a year to the day, seven families (why were not one of them, I will never know for sure, but have my theories) received letters from the parish priest that they were not being invited to return back to the school for the following year. Some of these families had been at the school for several years, some even attended the school themselves when they were growing up. These were families who gave and gave and gave and ones that you always count on to say yes when you needed something.
The school was a sinking ship and we were not willing to stick it out one more year (until Noodle would have graduated) to see how things would work out.
Because of our decision and being closely associated with the families who received letters we were looked down on by those who were going to stay.
My name was drug through the mud. Over and over again. (I was very well known around the place for various volunteer activities that I coordinated ). I was thrown under the bus more times that I could count. Every move and decision I made was questioned. Rules were made just so that they could accuse me of breaking them. ( I was also the skool b0ard president for 5 years)
A large group left the school. Those who stayed basked in the glory thinking they had won the fight. They were so happy because “all the bad people” were gone.
They fell hook, line and sinker for the lies that were told and followed the lead of those in charge like it was a cult and they were more than happy to drink the kool-aid.
Well last week another round of letters went out. Those same people who rode his bandwagon and “got rid of us” were the recipients. They were dumbfounded that he could do such a thing.
Now these people are scrambling to find schools for their kids to attend next year. It is not going to be an easy task for them as they have burned bridges with people who they now need to put in a good word for them.
Karma is coming and I am so glad that for once I am on the giving rather than the receiving end of it all.
I am not very good at admitting or asking for help when I need it. Nor am I very good at watching someone else do what I know I should be doing.
This does not mix very well with someone who still can’t lift anything over 5 pounds or bend at the waist for at least the next 4 -6 weeks to say the least.
Hubs and Noodle are trying their very best to pick up the slack that I have left. It is at the point though where it just isn’t quite enough. I am not trying to blame them in the least bit. Hubs works 12 -14 hour days and Noodle spends her day at school and usually has at least 2 hours of homework every night. There just isn’t any more that they can give.
I called and arranged to have maid service start next week. Don’t get me wrong, it will be a nice luxury but I have never been real keen on paying for something I am perfectly capable of doing myself. Except right now, I am not capable so it is what it is.
Dust bunnies – 1
Mar – 0
I had every intention of being a better blogger. I have started several posts in the past almost 3 weeks that I have been home. Obviously, I haven’t posted them. I am having a very difficult time wrapping my head (and my heart) around everything these days.
Surgery went off without a hitch. Although I am much more run down this time, I still think I was in more pain with my hernia surgery than I was having the hysterectomy.
I had planned on going back to work yesterday and just couldn’t bring myself to go. Tomorrow, I must go back. I am not overly concerned with not being able to do my work. I am worried about people (customers mostly) asking where I have been and bursting into a fit of tears that I can’t stop. Some of the stupid things (of many) I have cried to Susan over? Tacos and tampons. Nice combo isn’t it? If those things make me cry, imagine what someone showing any bit of compasion to me will do.
Speaking of compasion? You really do learn who your true friends are when you are down. You also get to see some for who they truly are and have to try to cut your loses and move on.
I hope I can fight this funk and be back soon.